It’s not about sex - they have porn, they have as much fucking porn as they could possibly ask for
they have billboards and ads and primetime tv shows and hollywood movies and websites free videos magazines they have porn channels porn movies with sexy images of women
they have girls on websites who are paid to webcam with them
there are girls who post sexy pics of themselves online for them
none of this is enough, none of this is, at the bottom of it all, what they want
creepshots specifically says this isn’t enough - they don’t want pics of girls knowingly posing (i.e. giving consent)
they want to violate, they want to rape, they want to own every woman walking down the fucking street
they want your teenager daughter, they want your mom, they want you
when you don’t know it, when you can’t say no, when you’re on the bus, when you’re walking down the street, when you’re at the beach
they get off on your violation, they want more proof that women exist for them and them alone
it’s sexy because it’s embarrassing, humiliating; they say it themselves
this is rape culture in its purest form
because women saying yes on screen, women saying yes to their faces, saying yes on their computers, on their phones is not what they want
that’s not “hot” enough
what’s hot is violating your consent, what’s hot is demeaning you, what’s hot is owning a piece of you against your will
and they won’t stop until we are all pornography
Yup. This is what I say so much. It’s like why so many guys on OkCupid don’t just look for other girls who want hook ups when that’s what they want. They go after women who want relationships and say on our profiles we don’t want hook ups, and lie to us, pressure us, try to push or trick us into meeting them for a date so on the date they can try to get us to go back to their place. There’s so much stuff online teaching men how to do this too, as if there aren’t women who’d be okay with just sex. But for these guys it’s not just about that. They don’t want women with agency, women who are also using them for sex and would be interested in her own pleasure, they don’t want women they don’t feel that they’re in control of. They want to feel that they’re leading us, tricking us, and ultimately that they feel like they’ve accomplished something. You can even see it in the way “seduction” sites talk about women, the bragging that goes on in the comments. They don’t want a woman that says “sure, let’s fuck, and I like it this way and let’s negotiate our sexual pleasure”, they want to feel they turned the reluctant woman. They want to feel like they convinced us to do something we didn’t want to, or we don’t normally do. That’s why so many guys on OkC I run into have nearly blank profiles. Some of them have actually just outright said that if they put stuff then some women won’t be interested in them and they want to lie about their interests when they talk to us, so we think they’re a match. It’s not about meeting a woman with mutually compatable desires, it’s about making a woman who doesn’t want it, “want” it (or just making us have sex, for these guys rape seems like a legal technicality, if they can legally not be raping us it doesn’t matter if we really wanted it or just did it under pressure/coercion).
And the creepshots thing is the same. They don’t want porn given to them. They want to TAKE porn. They want to do something they KNOW we don’t want. Porn made for them is made by willing women who know men are going to look at them. This makes them feel less powerful and in control. Taking shots of us that we don’t want, that we don’t know are being taken, puts them back in the seat of the hunter, and back in control.
As the OP says, this is exactly rape culture. It’s a culture that tells men that they should TAKE sex, or sexual gratification, not have it given. That women have sexual power, and you’re in their power if you have to wait for them to “give” you something, that then they’re in control. This is also where the whole friendzone thing comes from, and all the “women have privilege because they can deny sex” narratives. In a patriarchal rape culture, consent is seen as assumed, and that women can say “no”, that men have to wait for a woman that says “yes” or has to consume porn of women who are making it for mass consumption and not just them, feels like charity, like we’re in control, or they’re being REALLY NICE by letting us “deny” them sex. They see sex as something they should have, and women are just putting barriers in their way, and backing off means they’ve failed, pushing past those barriers makes them a success and having “won” or “taken” something from the woman.
(With credit to summer-of-supervillainy for her thoughts about rape culture & helping me with the framing of that last paragraph)
The predator/prey metaphor is particularly telling. They’re not looking for a member of their own species who’s interested in doing the same thing they are. The bird mating dance comparisons are vastly overshadowed by the hunter or predator comparisons. They’re not looking for women who will choose them. They’re looking for prey, and only by defeating the prey and harming the prey do they get what they want.
In their world, there aren’t women who want to have sex with them and women who don’t want to have sex with them. There are just women who are easy to get, and women who are hard to get. Women’s role is that of an obstacle course, and the thing determining whether a man has sex with a woman isn’t what she wants, but whether he has the skill and endurance to get through her obstacles. And more obstacles just means his skill and stamina is greater, his obstacle-course feat is more impressive, and he achieves an more satisfactory underdog victory.
Women don’t get to consent or not consent. They just get to try their hardest to defend themselves. And the men are certain that at the end of the obstacle course is sex, they just need to figure out the best tactics to get it - through lying, manipulation, pressure, intimidation, or just grinding her down until she’s too tired and sick to fight. To this mindset, a woman’s consent (or a woman’s desires, humanity, and agency) is just another obstacle between him and sex.
This is rape culture.